Random thoughts about life

I was just thinking how every time I think something is going MY way, in MY favor, it turns out its going light years in the opposite direction. I try to take out the positives, I mean for such a depressing life I lead I am a surprisingly happy person, even though I am not all that happy. Why is it when things start to right, they go terribly wrong? Then when you give up all hope, life taunts you with a glimmer to chase after only to fall off a cliff. Are these supposed to be "life lessons"..."lesson learned is a lesson gained" (I may have just made that up)...that's BS. Screw life lessons. Life isn't a class you take in High School, its not an experience, who gives a shit if you experience something? You cant go back and do it again with that knowledge. Life isn't about experience, and I am not about to tell you what its about either with some magical words. We all know what we want out of life, not specifically, but we have the blueprints.. you know, happiness, a Lamborghini or 50 hot and naked chicks in our bedroom, there's always a goal. I just want to do something without a goal involved, I don't care about success, I just want to NOT fail at something, sense of accomplishment, and beating MW2 on Veteran today didn't really do the trick. Without a possibility of success, why do anything? Why breathe if you have no chance of success? Why walk to the store? Why say "I love you, mom"? Because that way life cant get back at you. I don't care about learning new things or experimenting, I care about NOT being a failure, and when random shit happens to me day in and day out, and when I see this and worse happen to even LESS fortunate people I cant help but think if life is trying to make me fail, or just trying to make me unsuccessful.