I'm Vacuous

Life is funny, isn't it?

I've stopped writing since a while and I don't have any perfect reason for that. Perhaps I was started giving other things more importance than this. But some of those things left me in the middle of the road, but pen and paper always stood by me without any demands. Its irony, isn't it? They say you never miss the water until it's gone. Likewise when people are not around, we miss them the most and that is what happening with me. However now I'm back to the same old bullshit again. Woot!

I'm not going to reiterate this thing again. I Swear. I've had enough with the words such as 'Love, 'Trust', 'Faith', 'Veneration', 'CJ' etc. They all seem to be meaningless now some people took them as granted. I'm through with them forever this time. I should have done this a long time before, I guess. But something kept holding me since long period and suddenly left me loose. Sometimes I even regret those poor decisions and talking. But as they say regret can't cure your problems instead it makes it worse to live. So I try to avoid thinking it as much as I can. But somewhere down the line, all the things have their permanent place in my mind/heart. I don’t know. Moreover I think that I'm the reason behind this predicament. First my Ex-GF said, then my friends and now even myself conscience is indicating the same. "So Rahul What Is The Problem With You?" is what they ask. But I'm speechless only because I don’t have answer for such question. There is no reminder except self-abasement.

What I did with you CJ was really wrong and what you did with me is even worse. But in the end I'm sorry. and I still miss you. But things are not the same for us now. 22nd Jan 10 brought many complications with itself. I hope you would make a better choice in your life and be happy. That is all I wanted from god for you.